


Fide Sed Cui Vide

by Lexigent



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-30
Updated: 2011-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-15 06:09:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexigent/pseuds/Lexigent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The blog entry John wrote after Reichenbach happened. Fill for <a href="http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/5950.html?thread=25471294#t25471294">a kink meme prompt.</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Fide Sed Cui Vide

So. Where do I start? Well, first off, hello again. I haven't written anything in here in quite a while, but there was a reason for that.

Remember how I said that this life, life with Sherlock Holmes, wasn't safe? Remember how I worried about people like my girlfriend Sarah or Mrs Hudson?  
Well, I should have known better than to tempt fate because there's no two ways about it.  
Sherlock Holmes is no longer with us.  
There, I said it. My flatmate, the madman, is dead. And I've moved out of Baker Street.

Suppose I'd better start at the beginning with this one. Basically, after my last entry, Sherlock solved lots of cases and they all led to this Moriarty guy. He abducted me when I was on my way to see Sarah and brought me to some pool to meet with Sherlock. So the two of us, me and Sherlock, ended up trying to fight this guy, and there was a bomb vest, which was first on me, then on the ground and then set off by Sherlock. Well, by my gun, technically, but Sherlock pulled the trigger and we were all three going to go down. Because it was either getting killed by this Moriarty's snipers or blowing up the pool and taking him down with us.

But, as you can see, none of that was quite what happened. Because I'm still here, but obviously Sherlock isn't. I was in hospital for a while and when I got back to Baker Street, all Sherlock's stuff was gone. Not "packed up in removal boxes" gone, but gone gone. And I didn't have a lot of kit to start with, so basically the place was empty. And, well, the whole point of the flatshare business was to save money so I talked to Mrs Hudson and she put me up with this friend of hers, and that's where I am now.

It's strange. Like I said, I don't think being a civilian suits me. Sure, it's nice having a steady job and a girlfriend, but. I don't know. Sometimes in the evenings I sit down and my leg hurts and I think of that night at that Italian place and how I forgot my cane and then I realised I didn't need it after all. Physician, heal thyself, anyone? And I like a kitchen that I can cook in, but I'd got used to Sherlock's crazy chemistry set on the kitchen table and all the rest of it and sometimes I look at the table and wonder why it's empty. And this isn't even the same flat.

There's this one thing that I can't get out of my head, something I saw at the funeral. His headstone had this inscription, apparently it's the Holmes family motto: fide sed cui vide. That means ["Trust, but in whom take care".](http://www.houseofnames.com/xq/asp.c/qx/holmes-coat-arms.htm)

And that probably sums it up. I think he must have trusted me and for someone like him, that can't have been easy. I mean, there was a point on one of those cases where I thought he really didn't care that people were being killed. And when I met him, I thought he probably wouldn't even care if the murder that we were investigating was mine or Mrs Hudson's, he'd be all about figuring out who did it.

Well, as far as that goes, I changed my mind after what happened at the pool. I can't go into a lot of detail because there are still some things that are being investigated.

I know some of the people who read this because you're always commenting to let me know what you think about what I've written here (cheers for that, by the way), but there are probably lots more that I don't even know. And I don't want the world to get the wrong impression. I've looked through my previous entries and, well. I called him crazy and I called him a madman and he certainly wasn't an ordinary person. He could be annoying as hell, but... I chose this life. I chose to be his flatmate and his colleague. I chose to be his friend.

Yes. As crazy as it sounds, I think we were friends. For all the strange things I've seen him do, I think Sherlock Holmes was one of the best and most brilliant people that I've met in my life. I'm not sure if there's a definition of genius but I'd say he probably was one. And if someone like that dies, that's not just a loss to me or to his family, that's a loss to the world. I would say I'd rather it'd been me than him, but like I said at the start, I really should know better than to tempt fate these days.


End file.
